Let’s Talk: Building Open Conversations with Youth about Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authored by Brittany Sydnor, CHES, FPHW
Digital Media Specialist
October is Let’s Talk Month, where Fact Forward and other organizations around the country encourage open communication about love, sex, and relationships between young people and their parents or trusted adults. Let’s Talk Month isn't just for parents or caregivers—trusted adults like aunts, uncles, neighbors, coaches, and mentors can play a significant role in these discussions too. While these talks may feel overwhelming, they're essential for helping young people make informed decisions and develop a healthy understanding of relationships, boundaries, and their bodies.
Whether you’re speaking with a young child or a teenager, open communication is key. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when starting these conversations:
- It’s normal to be nervous
If you approach the conversation in a calm way, young people will pick up that there is no reason to feel anxious. You can even acknowledge your nervousness and explain that you want to make sure they have the information they need to make healthy decisions. - Use Age-Appropriate language
Make sure your language is easy to understand and clear, using anatomically correct terms. Avoid using their slang but check in to see if they’re following along by asking if they understand what you’re saying. - Normalize Conversations
The more often you mention these topics, the more comfortable both you and the young person will feel. This also builds trust, so they know they can come to you in the future when they need to talk. - Use the media
Love, sex, and relationships are everywhere in movies, TV shows, music, and online. Use those examples to start a conversation. Shows like Never Have I Ever offer great opportunities to discuss friendship dynamics, teenage dating, and even topics like virginity. - Ask questions
Start with smaller questions that lead into bigger topics, so "the talk" doesn't feel so intimidating. You could ask:
i. “When a friend hurts your feelings, do you tell them? Why or why not?”
ii. “Can you share a time when you needed to be brave?”
iii. “What qualities do you think are important in a good friendship?”
iv. “How do you think people know when they really like someone?”
As an auntie of four teenagers, two children, and six toddlers, I can emphasize the importance of continuous conversations. Sometimes it looks like, “Do you have a girlfriend? What do y’all do when you hang out? Have you ever felt jealous?” For the younger ones I’ve used questions including, “Who do you let hug you? How do you tell them no when you don’t want to be touched? Auntie will stop tickling you as soon as you say no, okay?”
Having regular conversations about love, sex, and relationships with the youth in your life helps create a foundation of trust and openness. These talks don't have to be intimidating, and using everyday opportunities, like media and real-life scenarios, makes it easier to start the talk. The more you communicate now, the better equipped young people will be to navigate relationships as they grow. Embrace these moments to empower them with knowledge and confidence.